Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Taking Over the Class

Monday was the official day to take over the class. I was nervous and excited. I had so much planned, but everything seemed to go down the drain.

Because of testing, a lot of students were out of class.I felt like I couldn't go too far with all of the missing kids, but I had a lot to show them. I also began getting a cold and I didn't feel well, so my day wasn't going as smoothly as I planned.

Throughout the day my cold worsened and my fuse shortened. By 8th period, I was done for. I was showing the students a powerpoint, and one student "B" corrected me. Before I knew what I was saying, I said

"B", If you are so smart why don't you take over the class"

I couldn't believe what I had just said. How could I have called a student out like that? All of the other students looked at me shocked. I quickly apologized and said that I shouldn't have said that, and I wasn't feeling well. I was really worried that "B" was going to hold a grudge against me for it. I really like "B" and didn't want him to think that I didn't like him in class, because in all honesty, he is usually one of my favorite kids.

On the ride home, I reflected on what I said. By the time I got home, I was crying. My boyfriend asked what was wrong, and I told him I couldn't believe what I said to "B". My boyfriend said it wasn't that big of a deal.

Today, I was nervous for 8th period to come in. When all of the kids were coming in the class, I made a point of saying "Hey, B how is it going?" He was in a cheery mood and told me that everything was going well. Throughout class, I checked in with him, making some jokes, which were received well. I quickly figured out he had forgiven me for my snide remark.

This taught me that the students can be very forgiving. I overstepped a boundary by calling a student out like that. I could have handled this situation better. To "B" though, it wasn't a big deal. I know that all students may not handle things like my rude comment as well, so I really need to breathe before I make a comment, and watch saying things that I don't mean, even if I'm not in a good mood.

Monday, February 15, 2010

First experience yelling at students

Last night, my CT e-mailed me saying that she would be gone today due to an illness. I was excited because I would get to take over the classes again (I took over last Wednesday). Everything went great last Wednesday. I don't know what happened today.

My first two classes went fine. I was able to explain their work to them and they worked quietly on it. Third period was when the $hit hit the fan.

Third period is normally a loud class anyways. Today they were working on their research papers. I explained what needed to be done and told them when it was due, and told them that they needed to work the rest of the hour. I told them that it was okay if they talked quietly, but to not get too loud. That didn't work.

They started to get loud and I politely told them "Hey Guys, noise level is a little loud". That got them quiet for about five minutes. I repeated the same mantra another two times before the substitute got fed up.

The substitute, feeling the need to step in, got the attention of the class and gave them a speech on how rude they were being and that they needed to respect me when I told them something. Some of them looked shocked that he said that. Others laughed. I felt embarrassed that the sub had to step in.

Then, the unbelievable happened. They started talking AGAIN. I looked at the sub who looked back and me and I yelled, "Seriously! He just gave you guys a lecture on respect and listening and being quiet and then you continue to talk! Just sit there! I don't want ANYONE to talk. Just sit there!"

I freaked the kids out. They had never heard me yell before. I had always been pretty calm in my demeanor until this incident. I was so disappointed in them. I was livid. When I get ticked I cry, so here I am holding back tears and pissed off.

I eventually calmed down and I e-mailed my teacher to tell her how the first half of the day went. She has had problems with the class and the noise level, so we made a new seating chart. They aren't going to like it, but with my diversity trip on Wednesday, I won't see them until Friday. I wish that they would act more responsible so that I could be more lenient with them, but they deserve the new seating arrangement.

For some reason, I feel like I failed with that class. I feel like I should have handled it differently. Looking back, I wish I would have taken one of the instigators in the hall when it was happening and had a chat with her. I think that that would have solved a lot of the problems. I want to give the class some freedoms, but third period is proving to me that they can't handle it.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

No Teacher

This past Wednesday I got to take over the classroom completely. My Cooperating teacher was away at Greenbush, doing training so I asked her if it was okay if I taught all of the classes. She thought that was a great idea. I fixed all of the lessons. I was a little nervous about having the class to myself but they were great. I had a sub watching over me (Who was actually my old counselor.)
All of the kids behaved like they normally would, and some behaved better than they normally do. They were all on task most of the time, and I was able to get to know them better since I was their teacher. Some of them actually commented , “Ms. Waggoner, I’ve never heard you talk this much before!”
My voice was hoarse at the end of the day, but I had such an awesome day. I think that the kids are actually beginning to see me as their teacher. The only thing that I worry about is that all of them may have not been on task as much as they should have. They all have laptops, and it gets kind of hard to monitor them all.
Days like Wednesday are a reminder of why I’m going into teaching. This is a rundown of how my day went:

Period 1-: Quiet Chatter.” J” kept singing “Pants on the Ground”. “T” and “TI” were chatty this morning, but nothing excessive. About halfway through the class everyone quieted down. “C” and “ H” had problems with their internet connections. I’m a little worried that they didn’t all complete the peer editing. “Mrs. L” told a few of them to put up the cell phones and they gave the “But Mrs. “M” Lets Us!” Overall they were pretty good today.
Period 2: J and T didn’t have their computers (T had to take his to Mrs. Falling, and I can’t remember what was wrong with Jared’s). T started working on math and I asked him if he thought he would have this done by tomorrow and he said “If I get my laptop back.” I told him he could write it on a sheet of notebook paper, but I don’t know if he took me seriously or not. Meh. I reminded them all that a rough draft was due to you tomorrow. Most of them were really good about having me look over their rough drafts.
Period 3: A little loud starting out. Mrs. L helped me remind some of them to be quiet. When going through the instructions H looked confused…or pissed, I couldn’t tell. I reminded them that this was due tomorrow. Overall, they worked quite well. Toward the bell they became a little rowdy, but nothing too bad. C seems a little lost on the introduction, but I tried to give her some good starting points, so I think she should be able to pull it together.
Period 4-Went well! Really impressed with S’s response writing. All of the response writings are in the basket. Had about ten minutes left of class, had them work on the ning response (10 things that define you). J was loud, but no louder than usual. J and W helped me with the sound issues when I was showing the youtube video. I read the bio to them on Lance Armstrong’s website and was having problems with the scrolling down button, but it went alright.

6th hour- about 1/4 of the class went to the library). I told a few of them that I didn’t care and that as long as their paper is in when it is due tomorrow, it doesn’t make a difference. The remainder of the class was quiet (Even C!) and good and worked diligently. Checked on kids in the library, they all seemed to be on-task.
7th –D was a little bit late, no biggie. So far, this class has been my favorite today. They all stayed quiet to complete their work, and worked through the whole time. Mrs. L caught J on the computer messing around, but it was almost time to leave and I asked him if he finished his rough draft when Mrs. L left the room and he said that he got it done, so I didn’t see what the big deal was. My presentation went quickly with this class, so they had about 25-30 minutes to write the introduction.
8th- Class was good as normal. Everyone got the lesson. The good thing about this class is I don’t feel bad for letting them talk because I know that they will get the work done, they didn’t even talk that much. We had a fire drill at 2:45.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Failing to Make the Grade

Today, in class my Seniors presented their Debate. We have been reading Medea and it was their job to decide whether or not Medea was guilty of murdering her two children. Last week, they had three days to prepare for their 3 minute speech and one minute rebuttal.

To say the least, I was disappointed in about half of the class. Last week my cooperating teacher and I constantly checked to see if they needed help finding sources and how they were coming along. They all said that it would be a piece of cake, so I didn't worry about it.

Today, I hear "But, three minutes is soooooo long" and "I can't talk for threeeee minutes!" I looked at them blankly and told them that they would just have to get through it.

Some students did well. They really researched their topic and had good supporting evidence. I was so proud of them. The other part of the class made me feel like I didn't do a good job and didn't prepare them enough.

Our judging team was another english teacher, my cooperating teacher, and myself. A lot of the students started to have problems at the two minute mark, but were able to make it through by B.S.ing a little bit. One girl hardly made it a minute.

This "Minute Girl" (We will call her "MG" for short) was totally unprepared. She went up and stumbled the entire minute through the speech. She isn't the best at giving class presentations, but she didn't even try. Last week while researching, my cooperating teacher and I kept pushing her to look up information, but she refused. We told her about the debate Monday, but she didn't care. We urged her to go to the library to look up information, but she gave us lip. We just shrugged our shoulders and helped the students who wanted the extra information.

After the debate, I tally'd the individual scores. The highest was a 96. "MG" got a 56. I felt horrible. I gave out my first "F". She did deserve it, but it made me feel guilty, like I had done something wrong. It made me feel like I should have pushed her harder when they were looking for research. It also made me feel like maybe I didn't teach it well enough, like I failed and was the student receiving the 56.

Then, I took a moment to look at the students who did succeed. Maybe I failed MG to some extent, but how did other students strive so well? I did make some impact.

I guess my problem is reaching all students. I can't make students succeed that don't want to. I can try my best to get them to participate, but if they don't want to, they aren't going to. In the next few coming months I will try harder to push MG and try to get her to see the value of what we are doing in class. I am going to try to forge a connection with her. I'm just afraid of failing.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Keeping the personal out of it...

To say the least, I had a shit-tastic weekend. It seemed that my world was turned part ways upside down. I had a list of things happen Sunday that had my face burning in anger and my eyes welling up in tears. I didn't sleep that well, I woke up pissed, and ready to not do anything. Things in my personal life had gone a little haywire.

Today, I got back to my cooperating school and I was still in a bad mood. It was the worst day I have had there. I didn't even try to connect with the students. I worked on future lesson plans and kept out of it. Everything that the morning classes said annoyed me. I kept my mouth shut and hardly smiled. I didn't want to be around anyone and I was stuck in a class full of 20 people.

After lunch, I started to calm down a little. I was realizing why I was having the "shit-tastic" day. I was having a horrible day because I wasn't leaving my personal life at home. I went in pissy and decided that I was going to stay pissy. The students weren't being annoying, they were acting like they always do. The little things that happen, like some students not turning in their work irked me more than normal. I couldn't believe how hard it was for me to leave the personal at home. They could tell i wasn't having a great day and left me alone.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really going to have to work harder on if I'm having a bad day dropping it. I shouldn't be going into the classroom with an attitude like I did today. As hard as it is, I think that teachers must compartmentalize their lives or they will go crazy. We need to realize that our moods and energies affect those around us. I'm sure the students could tell that I wasn't in a good mood. I'm quiet in the classroom anyways and am still really nervous when I take over a lesson, but I'm happy. I smile. Today wasn't that way.

If you have a bad day at home, leave it there. School kids driving you nuts today? Leave it at school. Don't take it home with you. You will drive yourself mad. I'm not saying you should fake it when you have a bad day. Accept it. Realize it is there. Look at the positive things in your life. Get over it. If not for your sake, atleast for your students.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Something I didn't expect when I began student teaching was how quickly I would bond with the students. It's enthralling how I can look at the students and see so much potential in them (even the so called "bad apples"). My cooperating teacher let me form my own opinions of the students the first week, then I asked for some helpful input. It's amazing what some of the kids go through and how they can even make it to school, let alone do their work.

One student, we will call him Johnny, has a really hard life. He lives in an RV with his mom and his mom's boyfriend. Johnny sleeps on the floor of this RV. They have less than nothing. He has been put in foster care before, but he ended back up with him mom. Johnny is in the college credit course. His work is always on time, and although he is quiet, he turns in great work.

Another student, "Anne", is 17 and has a child. Her father is in jail and her mother died right before Christmas of a drug overdose. She is bounced from relatives houses constantly. She's not the most outgoing girl, but can you imagine? At 17, I couldn't imagine getting out of bed in the morning.

"Paula" is a great writer. Her papers are amazing. She uses great word choices and can pick up on symbolism in a story easily and well. She is extremely insightful. She doesn't come from an educated family, though. She's quiet in class, and has some severe anxiety problems if you make her talk in class. I know with the right push, she could do great in life. If no one pushes her though, I could see her becoming the manager of Dairy Queen and working there the rest of her life.

Their are so many of these kids that deal with things that I couldn't imagine going through personally. They quickly became real people to me, and not just "another student". I know that I will never be able to reach all of these kids, but I hope that through my teaching career, I can help some of them get on the right track.

I'm also surprised at how friendly they all are and how well they all listen. I was teaching one of my first lessons today, and some of the boys in the back of 8th period started to talk. One of the girls in class looked at them and said, "Hey! Pay attention to her! She's teaching!" I looked at them and told the boys with a straight face, "Don't mess with me, I have back-up" , which they kind of giggled at, but they did pay attention to me.

I can't wait until I get to know my students better. I'm ecstatic about becoming a teacher. I worried for awhile if it was the right choice for me, but I can tell through my experiences that I'm going to love it. I couldn't see myself do anything else.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Race to the Bottom

I've been talking to my Cooperating Teacher a lot lately about state budgets and financial situations in regards to schools. I've come to the conclusion that, while I'm excited about the extra money being spent on schools, I don't think that "Race to the Top" is going to be successful and is going to fail just as the "No Child Left Behind" did.For those of you who don't know, "Race to the Top" is the Presidents new plan for schools. It is a nationwide plan that offers states increased funds to schools that meet certain eligibility standards that have been set by the federal government. Statewide testing that is tied in with teacher pay is a part of this deal.What proof is their that "Race to the Top" will be successful? There is no research that it will be effective. It seems like another layer of federal mandates that are going to be placed on the schools. Test scores will be the base of teacher pay. This is going to make many teachers "teach to the test" even more than they do now.What is so different about "Race to the Top?" Why is this going to be our saving grace when nothing else has worked? What is so special about this plan? I do agree that teachers should be held accountable for what they are doing in the classroom, but is this the route to go?
To me, this plan just seems like one that the Democrats are supporting whereas NCLB was one that the Republicans supported (which many Democrats of the time supported as well). I’d like to know what the major differences are in these plans.
I don’t know if I believe that schools should have a government influence. If it was all privatized and the parent chose what schools their children attended maybe the parents would be happier. Teachers may try more if they knew that how many children attend their school depends on how well they teach, not how many kids are in their districts. Teacher pay would be directly correlated to how well they taught. Doing something like this : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_voucher might be beneficial. Vouchers would give parents the choice that they want and maybe it would make them care a little bit more about their child’s education. They would actually have a say in where their kid went to school. Our system would be forced to strive.
These plans to further include the government are going nowhere. Our kids are failing because our system is failing, as a whole. You can call it No Child Left Behind or Race to the Top, but when it boils down to it, it is the same thing…a failure.